Life's not easy, I'm not made out of steel.

This is really what I got in mind for the past few weeks. I'm becoming less myself day by day thinking other ways to live life. When all I should've do is (as cheesy as it sounds) be my self, chase my dreams. I thought I was an expert on not thinking too much about what everyone else is thinking. But I lied to myself. I like told myself to put yourself out there since like 2010 but never actually did. I was, too scared? Nothing's too late but it's too late for me now cause I have all these exams traffic jamming my mind in being creative. Uni is very important. And so is loving yourself. 

Must Watch Movies

Been soooo busy lately but I somehow always find a way to watch a movie in the middle of my business. I am sooo over chick flicks. Even though they are still my go-to movies to watch when I'm bored I just don't seem to dig that kind of movies anymore. Or maybe I'm just bored cause there's not much chick flicks to watch on the list. 

Besides that, I have figured out some movies that tells us more about life. My Name Is Khan was a popular movie back in junior highschool, but I never get to watch it because I never had the chance and I didn't really like those types of Movies back then. But, I secretly have this soft spot for Hindi Movies ever since I start watching 3 Idiots because it was an assignment project at school and I had to explain the 3 characteristics of the main characters and ever since that, I have been loving Hindi Movies. Well, I don't speak Hindi but I always watch the ones with English Subs on it. That is the first time ever having to use an English Sub in a movie. And then my friend Ananta mentioned Taare Zameen Par once on a group chat and I watched it and I loved it. So here's the list of Hindi Movies to watch and a quick plot of the movie if I may add.

1. Taare Zameen Par

This movie tells you about a story of a little boy who is misunderstood because he's different, and frankly, he can't read. At first I thought this movie could be completely boring. This boy Ishaan was treated as if he was a coward, but then a new teacher came but he didn't brighten up Ishaan's world just yet, this teacher had to know more about Ishaan to make a difference in his life. I adore Aamir Khan in this movie cause he just teaches me everything about life in one movie.

I'm currently re-watching this movie right now! 

2. Ghajini

Okay so this movie is a little bit different. It's not that typical type of movie I'd watch cause it had actions and a little bit of a thrill in it. But, the movie is actually really beautiful. It tells you about true love. Only, his lover is killed but he can't seem to remember how, he had a short term memory lost. (Or was it a long term memory lost?) But then the villain came in and yadda yadda yadda, you have to watch the full movie to understand. It's all over the internet. 

3. PK

PK! My faaaav Hindi movie! It showed in theaters once here but I didn't have the chance to watch so I watched it online instead. PK is like a some sort of alien that came to earth and then this girl found her and he thinks it true love but this girl is still in love with a guy who "hang" her just like that. It's a really interesting movie and a funny one too! You HAVE to watch it. 

4. 3 Idiots

Haha my fav. They are really idiots I don't know why but they just are. They met in college and life changed when this guy named Ranchodas Shamaldas Chanchad (excuse me if I spelled it wrong). So Rancho came and he's really really smart but he never studies so two of his friends don't study too but they got bad grades, but Rancho didn't. Two of his friends one is a real good photographer, one is a business man I believe? I forgot. But then Rancho disappeared out of the blue and they figured out that Ranchodas Shamaldas Chanchad wasn't his true identity. FOR MORE EXCITEMENT WATCH AND DOWNLOAD 3 IDIOTS, NOW!
My actual favorite quote that I hang on my room with a post it actually came from this movie it says "Make your passion, your profession"

5. Slumdog Millionaire

Okay I have to admit I haven't finished watching Slumdog Millionaire and I forgot the plot of the movie but I'm just gonna put it on the list anyways. 

6. My Name Is Khan

...and I'm not a terrorist. I basically just spoiled you the whole movie. So there's this guy from Pakistan who has a disability and wanted to prove to the world that he is a moslem and he's not a terrorist because of all the 911 shenanigans going on. 

There's one more movie I can't remember the name but it tells you about the braveness of a woman saving her dignity. All I remember is Kareena Kapoor was the main actress. Believe me, everyone who ends with a "Khan" in their name are real good Indian actors like Shahkrukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Imran Khan, Kareena Kapoor Khan. Amalia Khan. Woah. loljk.

To watch list: Dhoom: 3, Priya: The Charming Girl of India, Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak, aaaand many more. I wanted to include pictures but I don't wanna steal the from the internet so you better google them yoursef. anyways, HAPPY SWEET 17 GOOGLE! 

Late Night Pointless Thoughts.

 I apologize in advance, and I do need your sympathy. 

Been thinking a lot lately. Well I use my brain everyday but. I've been thinking about something quite serious. I miss my junior high school friends. But then again, do they miss me? I can clearly say that I am not happy, you can tell by what I am trying to tell you. Either I changed or the society change? I cannot seem to figure that out. The over thoughts in my head are whirling up in desire to be over thought. Nothing that comes out from my brain make sense anymore. I miss those who I could call my best friends. But meeting them never seem to make it up. I miss the moments I spent with them. I could recall every thing in my head and then you could see it crying. I miss being happy around them, you know what I'm saying. I dunno I just, maybe they think I forgot all about them but, it still recalls every time the word "you have no best friends" keeps haunting me. People think I don't care cause I don't show it. Maybe because I never learnt that to have a best friend, you have to be a best friend. (Yet I'm nowhere near that phase now). In elementary school best friends keep coming up to me, and I didn't need to put an effort on it. Now that I'm in High School now things has changed. 

This post came out really depressing actually. Sorry about that. 

I just haven't found myself in High School just yet. But then again I'm only 2 days away from Senior Year. Good luck self.

Harry Potter update: I just finished the book Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Whoah some sirius stuff written there) yesterday and now I'm about to start Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire but. There's no but. I'm going to continue it no matter what. But maybe tomorrow. 

Quotes I Live By.

Before I say anything else, if anyone knows a place/site to read daily and has the latest news and trends and knowledge and everything please let me know. And yeah I have heard about the newspaper but I want it something more modern, and I have heard about the newspaper website but that's a different thing. I want a place that has daily reads and writings from professional writers.

So, I am coming up with a new video idea but there are slight problems. My camera is not working with me. I mean the camera is perfectly fine but the memory card is being a bitch. It's the only memory card I have that can be used in filming but it's being a bitch lately cause it needs to format but when I format it on the camera it says "Cannot be format" like what the hell? I am not a professional in this yet. I even deleted and format it on my laptop but it still doesn't work. Now I'm left with an idea stuck in my head and I can't seem to let it out. I mean, I could always write it down on my brainstorming book anytime but it's just different.

Since I haven't been blogging for a while so I think I should write it down here instead until I finally got my memory card. So here's what I've been thinking about: Quotes I Live By.

Many of people struggle in life and I chose a path to always see the positive way and a way through it, even at certain nights I don't always feel like that. But I'm trying to stay positive in any sort of way. It's a thing now where people give you advice and say stay positive. But I don't think that's enough. You can't tell that to your brain cause it still has a lot of branches to think about the negativity in life. 

So I give you Quotes I Live By to held and to always mesmerize. 

1] Live the life you imagine.

I bet you all had thought what you would be, where you would live, who you would be with in the future. So instead of just imagining it, it gives you nowhere. Try do something so you could live in that imaginary world and make it come true. Because you have to do something that your future self would thank you for. I've decided to do youtube, and let's see what the future might hold.

2] Work hard until you no longer have to introduce yourself. 

This is similar to "Work until you don't need to see the price tag while you're shopping." I think about this quote a lot. I even wrote it on a mug I put on my desk so it would magically come true, but of course with effort and hard work. Yet I don't like the phrase "no pain no gain" cause it's too harshful for the brain to think that you need to pain to gain, there is so many better ways to say that in a much better phrase. 

3] "Yang pinter tuh harus kamu, bukan bapak mu, bukan guru les mu, bukan temen kamu, tapi kamu"- Pak Amin, Guru Fisika.

This ones really stuck in my head because I am actually that one student who rely on my tutor or I copy the answers from my friend. Cheating is really not good for the brain cause it would think that "it's fine, you could always copy her answers" but when it comes to real life and real test like those big exams you take to go to college? you cannot cheat there. Coming from a student who is going to face those exams, cheating is not the answer. I swear I regret those days I copy my friend's answers rather than figuring it out myself.

Trouble Sleeping & I Miss Writing.

I can't remember the last time I actually wrote on this blog, I apologize in advance. I know by lack of writing makes me lack of viewers and readers too but there's just so much going on.

I actually started youtube like how I said I doubted on my post Youtuber To Be or Not To Be and cause it had a lot of nice comments it made me actually thinking of doing it cause I wanted to do something that my future self could thank me for later. And I guess it's a start of something new? Oh my god I sound like Troy from High School Musical.

Anyways, I remember I used to say Anyhoo because I liked reading Dork Diaries and she always start up again with Anyhoos so, I thought it was cool back then, what'dya think? I mean it still sound pretty cool tho am I right?

Have you ever felt so bored in your life you could watch a whole back-to-back youtube video for about 20 minutes each? I went through that phase and now I kinda regret it because I start thinking of the possibilities I could do whilst those 20 minutes. But you can't take back what you have done. So I'm making sure I'm being productive now. I make sure I have a plan for a whole day cause that is a good way to start a day. You know. Knowing what to do. It actually excites me to actually get things done.

Today I traveled via public transportation on my own because I felt for a little me-time adventure and I had something to do so I guess why not use that opportunity? I totally didn't vlog the whole thing nor even posted a snapchat because I wanted to  be my own adventure. Have you ever felt something like that before? Wanting to do something for yourself for a change? I finally did it.

So anytime you're so sick of the world and just needed a time off?

Go out there make memories and keep it to yourself.

--

I recently finished reading a book called Girl Online and just when I made a video review about it, well its actually not a video review it's basically just me fangirling about it. But just when I made a video about it, I didn't knew the rumor that it was ghost written. But all the ideas were pure Zoe's. But just as uncaring as I am, I actually don't care if it is ghost written cause she wouldn't be able to write a pure gold book like that anyways because of all of the Youtube shenanigans going on and I never see her busy writing so, it makes sense. But I fell in love with the story. I've never fall in love with a book before so this is new for me. I fell in love with the characters and the story and how it relates to me.

Anyways I'm still gonna post the video on my youtube channel after I edit it because I haven't posted in a week so.

Coming up is a rant about Quotes I Live By so make sure to comment about the quotes that inspires you down below!

I keep writing as if somebody's gonna read my blog again haha. Poor me.

Love, Amalia.

Self Visualization???

If you were to paint your self on a big canvas, how would it be like? If you had all the skills an artist could have, how would you draw your life? How do you see yourself? 

That's not so easy. I'm currently struggling through life now. I see myself as a small fish in an ocean that you don't want to catch, I see myself as a tiny piece of crumbles that you don't wanna eat, I see myself as a rotten candy on the back of the shelf that you don't even notice it's there. And how you see yourself effects on how others see you. I know that I really do. But it's still hard for me to go out there. I still wanna stay in this comfort zone, in this little place I call home. I'm scared to see what's out there cause there's too many things going on. I have my lovers my best friends, but that's not enough.

In high school, I'm always in that "It Girls" squad but I'm always on the bottom list. I've always been that least person anyone wants to hang out with. One of my best friend once said "If we weren't nice to you, you'd be anti-social" and that one harsh words is still hanging around my head even though she said it a year ago. I always want to try to open up more but not everybody can see "me". There's this one girl who hates me and that girl happens to have the power to make everybody else hate me too. I depend too much on people. I sacrifice too much. When I don't even get anything in return.

I've never been in the center stage, I've never been the spotlight. I'm always that one girl you never notice in a crowd of screaming fans. Sometimes it distresses me cause I can't be me around specific people sometimes. When all I wanted is for people to see me, because I know there's a side of me that is amusing and interesting, I just need to show it.

But somehow, everything's hard. I'm having a hard time trusting. My life is so plain at the moment. The only thing that makes me happy is my lover. I am so lucky to have him. He accepts me, and tells me about the things I shouldn't do and things I should do. I'm still lucky to have someone who understands and accepts me.

So I paint life as an ocean, plain and beautiful at once outside, but there's a lot of going on in the inside, you just need to dive in and see to enjoy it.

P.s. take me back to this island 

You? Yes, you.

I'm fed up. I'm a mess. I'm all over the place. I've been over thinking things way too much, and I know I should've been caring about my surroundings but the truth is, the more you care, the more you feel you have to lose. I haven't been sleeping properly recently, unless I'm really really tired from school. There is not a single day where I haven't cried my eyes out. My heart is being really really sensible and I just don't know what to feel. Losing friends is the worst thing that could happen right now.

I failed.

The worst thing in life is feeling that you failed to do something you should've been ass-kicking. A tiniest feeling of failure makes you feel as if you failed at life. At the end of the day, it's just a bad day, not a bad life. I need my life back. Being in high school is a pain in the ass.

When you, you're the only one who has the privilege to change my mood, to make me happy, to make me sad. To make me feel insecure, yet to make me feel on top. To make me jealous, to make me feel like i'm the luckiest girl in the world. To make a sin, to make a vow. To make a courtesy of my attitude, to make me selfish. To let me be me, even at my worst.

You see that little girl over there? She might be happy, she might be sad, she might not give a fuck to the world and there's no in between.
I miss times where look is not a problem, everyone were friends, you wouldn't have to find a topic to talk about cause you can talk about anything that pops in your mind. Feeling disappointed is not in your dictionary and you feel as if everyone loves you.

If the purge anarchy was real and I was in the middle of the annual purge anarchy, I already have a list of people to purge on. The people who killed my happiness. 

The Not-So-Good Opportunity Taker

So this is me swallowing my pride and trying as much as I can to not finish the lyric because the purpose of writing that line isn't that, I didn't mean to sing it in any particular way. Sorry Taylor. Carry on. Lately I've been busy as a bee being a dedicated labschool student, following all the programs and stuff and even being one of the candidates for the osis committee, wippieee you never thought a girl like me could be in a well-structured organization cause ... well cause .. i d k. To top it all of I went hiking last week and reach the summit with my Pecinta Alam group, Vabishaka. I would give you any evidence but the video isn't up yet, I'm still in the middle of editing but I can't continue cause I have to study for finals YES I am going through a higher grade which is the year 11. I don't know whether to be happy or sad or anywhere in between I just am.

I can't wait to actually have the time for my own again. But the real question right now is, when, on earth, is that ever gonna happen? I feel like my most days are dedicated to do things for other people and if I do something for my self I'm doing it for other people too. Change subjects. I'm in the training for being the best osis secretary there ever existed and I need to proof to the world that I can change and prove them wrong about what others see in me. I know I currently have a weak image but everything can change. I know in all my blog posts I always tell you how ungrateful I am, and I always talk about my insecurities but that's the thing about blogs, I blog when I'm depressed and now I have a lot of things in my mind that I just gotta let out. I come home everyday, crying, well not really crying but heartbrokenly look my self in the mirror and regret all the stuffs I could've done and should've but didn't. Wow I am the most ego-est person cause there is no sentence in the whole entire blog without the word I. and YES i did say whole entire. Some people know who I really am and I love them for accepting that but the others just look at me an throw me away, things needs to change and I need to change it now. 

But yes the life accomplishment of the month is where I reached the summit even though I had to spent two hours in the hospital cause I was going through some major dehydration and diarrhea, but I am all well now.

Can't wait to see you on my next blog where I cry about my insecurities again while showing you my new video so stay tuned!  

► Land of Opportunity - A Great Big World

Ink.

I'm here to talk about the one thing we all love: art. What is art? Art is what you call beauty. One thing I like about art is that there is no mistake in anything. No matter how messy it seems, no matter how much you screw up, you can still call it art and make it look perfect and making it look like its your thing to paint a master piece out of a mistake. In math when you make a mistake, you're wrong, you have to do it all over again. But that doesn't happen in art. In art everything is art starting from a tiny messy splat on your canvas, in to a human like painting. You don't have to think much in art you just need to know the techniques and express yourself freely but gently. Even though I haven't found myself in art, I still like it as if it is my passion. Look at me, talking about art as if I know everything about it. Here I have some of my favorites: (These are not mine no)

I used to take painting lessons back in the days when I still had time for myself. Now I have a full schedule for every day in a week and the painting course place was far away from my house so my mom had to drive me every week and I guess she got tired that's why she wouldn't let me go anymore. You must wonder "It's only painting, why do you need a teacher for that?" no. It's not a "just painting". And besides we still paint by ourselves but our tutor gives us advice on what to do to add details that's it. I love it there, it's full of peace and full of people with passion. But there's this one kid who couldn't stop talking and...ah I can't tell you the rest. I really really miss painting. Looking at those paintings in my school hall reminds me of who I was and what I like the most. Can't believe my last painting was back in 2012. 

Youtuber, to be or not to be?

I heard about this theory, when you have a dream to be something or to have something, write it down, believe it believe what you wrote, imagine the time where you are doing the things you are dreaming, imagine you're holding the thing you are craving for, hang it on the wall or on your studying desk or any place you want as long as you can see it everyday. And when it's the right time, it'll come true. And then so I tried AND IT ACTUALLY WORKED. I printed a picture of a penny board with blue board and purple wheels and then, literally that night my friend called she said she was in Bali and saw a bunch of penny boards and I asked her to buy me one!yeay! But I'm still not allowed to penny board cause I'm still in the middle of an exam and it's a rainy day lately so haven't used it outside but I promise I'll be a pro before 2014. Speaking of 2014...... it comes down to the point of year where I write down all my accomplishments of the year 2013! maybe in the next post I'll write it down later. 

And besides penny board I also printed a volkswagen beetle mobil, as you can see that had been my dream car since ages. I know it's pretty small and only can fit up a few but it's still so classy! The first thing I'd do when I get the car I would change the whole interior so it would be more comfy:) I told my mom about the "theory" and asked "how come it worked on the penny board but it hasn't worked on the vw beetle yet?" and she said something that has been echoing in my head up until now "that's because allah gave it to you because he knows you're ready. You're not ready to get a beetle yet, you don't even have license! I know one day you will, because you know you're ready" my mom can be pretty wise sometimes, i know. 

And next to the VW Beetle I also printed a YouTube logo because every time I watch my favorite youtuber, I always dream in being a youtuber and get to talk to a lot of people and just go out there and have the ability to do something new and legendary. I also get to meet cool people online, it just seem so fun. Blogging is for a start, maybe one day I'll become a part of indonesian youtubers. All along I've been talking about making youtube videos to my friends and I think I successfully annoyed them cause I can't stop talking about how wonderful it'd be! But some days I have my doubts. Some days I think, what if people wouldn't like me on youtube? what if they don't accept me because I wear a hijab? what if i would be like one of the abandoned ones? all those negative thinkings pop up in my head like whoah. I don't like all those negative thoughts haunting me, but we always have to think about the pros and cons. But what motivates me is about thinking how much more experiences I'm gonna make, how many cool people I get to meet, how life changing it would be. I actually already started on writing ideas for youtube videos! what i'm gonna say, what i'm gonna do, just everything. I'll just have to wait until I take off my braces and consider this again. I mean, what do you think? Youtuber, to be or not to be? 

Broken Arrow

Have you ever had the feeling when you have nothing to hold on when the pole is right in front of you? The feeling where you feel lost and you need to hug something when the only thing close to you is your teddy bear? and you feel like it's a perfect night to be wasted drown in tears thinking too much about something that would never happen but in your mind you assume they do? You're not in the mood in doing anything but you have a lot of things to do you just push things away. You have a lot of things in mind but can't speak because everything in your head is mixed and you get tired of thinking. and you feel like you just want to run away from the place you started to another place where nobody knows you and start all over again. Not like this panda and cow, they have each other even though they come from a different kind. You feel like you have nothing when everything is in front of you waiting to be reached. Feeling like nobody's there for you when you're always there for them sucks. I know how it feels, and by you I mean me. I think too much but speak up too little.

What do you do when you're heart's in two places? You feel great but you're torn inside, you feel love but you just can't embrace it. When you found the right one at the wrong time... I'm sorry if I've been writing a lot about how sad I am I'm supposed to share happiness, but just this once. I feel like I don't have anyone to rely on and writing it here makes me feel a little better somehow. 

Sendhowo Is The Motto.

Well since this is the first post since forever, sorry for being such a lazy updater I solemnly swear I would not be lazy anymore in high school. And this is also my first post since I am now officially a high school student! Remember how I used to always say I can't wait? Now I'm living the moment.. But before high school, my uncle once told me that I had to be sendhowo in my decisions that I'm willing to make in the future. Sendhowo is a javanese language. It might sound weird but it rhymes with Motto so... Sendhowo means (If I'm not mistaken) that you have to take risk in every choice you chose. You can't just back down when everything goes wrong, you have to be strong and cleverly find away and go right through it. I was most likely in being in that sendhowo situation. 

I've been through those phases where I forced myself in thinking that I am way more better than everyone else in the room. But that actually gave me low self-esteem. And I don't want that. I was often down and feeling blue. I was most likely to compare myself to everyone I know. Now I'm changing my directions. I'm giving myself a whole new make up. Not a make up that uses blushes, mascara, or eyeliner. But a confidence boost make up which is the most important make up in your make up bag. ^^v

Socks socks socks.

So my school has this policy slash rule slash whatever it is where students are not allowed to wear colorful and below-ankled socks. Which I think is soooo lame. I would disclaim but nobody ain't got time for that. I don't wanna waste my time just dealing with this socks policy. So please, what's the big deal? 

Today I wore my favorite blue-white-striped socks to school and during the test my ICT teacher came in  my class and took all the socks that were against the law. Including my socks. At first I didn't want to take it off cause who wants naked cold feet? Nobody. And my socks were still white! But he forced me to take it off so I did with an attitude. I hope he didn't notice my attitude when I took it off. He promised me I could get it back after the test but noooooo my lousy teacher didn't gave back the socks they took from me AND the other students too. Isn't that not polite? First, I didn't wear any socks in class, it's filthy. Second, breaking a promise after saying I could get it back after the test. Third, telling us they're gonna throw away our socks for no reason? That's rude. This is sick and I don't like it.

That doesn't makes me wanna follow the rule, you know? It makes me wanna break the rule even more! It's only socks. I can't believe 'they' make it a big deal. Does it really matter? Does it really affect me during studying? No. The answer is no. Screw you and your lame rules. At least give me my socks back. #attitude. But I don't really mind because I still have a lot of socks and that could be the reason to buy new socks. But today, that made me really really disappointed. Okay? It's pathetic. 

Nightlight.

"One day someone is gonna magically just pop into your life and be the reason nothing else ever worked out"- kimmi smiles.

Unlocked the padlocks.

If you follow me on twitter and instagram you may know that I used to lock/private my accounts. And you may get this confusion (or not?) on why do I lock my account but then one day I unlock it but then another day I lock it again, this is jut to make it clear. But before telling you why did I unlocked my accounts, it's only fair to tell you why I did lock it at first. Well simply because I wanted people to want to know me better so they would HAVE to follow me instead of just stalking me. But, the more opened you are, the more people who gets more interested. Recently I found this gadget where I can put my twitter and instagram account on so it would look cool (just check out my sidebars). But sadly I have to unlock my accounts to make that possible. 

And this is just to make it clear, I may seem labile because I lock and then unlock and then lock my accounts  for some reasons, but this is my final decision, I am gonna unlock my accounts so I could be more free. Besides, other celebrities' accounts are unlocked and they are always update so that's what I'm gonna do :D

Anyway it's my birthday today and I feel blessed because of all the people around me. 

quick update.

Lately I found myself watching fashion videos on youtube, scrolling down fashion bloggers, checking myself in the mirror every once in a while, planning what to wear for tomorrow, spending hourrs just to pick the right outfit for an event, matching up old & used shirts with something I just bought, paying attention to outfits that actresses wears in a TV show or a movie, saving up to buy a new outfit, listening to new kinds of music, and believe me the list goes on and on.

I just realized my obsession on watching fashion vlogs on Youtube. Such as Macbarbie07 and Krazyrayray.

At first I only liked the way they talk, but then, their fashion videos and tips seems interesting also. And another obsession of mine is.......... watching chick flicks like Pretty Little Liars, Glee S4, Jane By Design, and my newest obsession, The Carrie Diaries. Which has been interrupting my studying time, a bit. 

Painting, I'm no longer allowed to paint because I have to focus on my national exams. Which suck. Wanna know why? Cause I kinda miss my Sunday Routines which I usually do every Sunday. Everything F.U.N. needs to be post poned until year 10. Yes, Highschool. Even going out & hanging out with my friends on weekends :( But I'll find a way and figure that out. 

I need a break, a holiday, a quality me-time.

Guitar, lately I've been watching a lot of video covers on Youtube. Mostly acoustics. Plus, Greyson Chance kinda sorta inspired me to play a musical instrument. I thought about the easiest most simplest instrument I want to learn. And I finally decided to learn how to play the guitar. But I need to find a way to make it different cause acoustic covers on youtubes are too mainstream. Problem is, my parents, well, especially my mom said I can't focus on music because music is haram in islam. But everything's worth a try!

Chapter 12: Page 366 of 366.

Knowing that today is the last day in 2012, I want to write down some accomplishments I've already accomplished in 2012. 

2012 Accomplishments.

- Went to Australia! The biggest accomplishment in 2012.

- Finished reading a whole book. 

- Completed my One Direction section with books and magazines. 

- Fell in love with someone who actually trusts me. 

- Had some me-time alone at the mall, twice. 

- Tried out the Wall Street trial by my self.

- Got my name on the Top 10 rank in my class, three times in a row. 

- Tried&did something out of the ordinary. 

- Party with Definitional.

- Made whole new friends.

- Got rid of my past. (which has been haunting me before)

- Designed my own room. (& got a lot of compliments for it)

- Stand out to my self. (just now! weeeeee) 

- Went shopping on my own. (Which is also one of my birthday wish) 

- Finished one painting on my own, without any help. 

- Threw away unused stuffs in my room. 

- Posted a lot of self pics on instagram. (I don't see why I call this an accomplishment. oh well..
- Wrote a fanfic for a friend.

Well I had a splendid 2012, hope 2013 would be more and more. 

Le history of Little Miss Awesome

It all started on twitter, where I wanted to figure out a cool name for my twitter username. Little Miss Sunshine was so in that time. But hah Little Miss Sunshine doesn't fit my personality. And I love the word awesome. So, Why not Little Miss Awesome? But @LittleMissAwesome is too weird for a twitter username, don't you think? So yeah I didn't take it. So I used @Amaliaspace instead. Back then I had this weird blog that I'm too embarrassed to show you it's called Amalia's Space. So I thought about @Amaliaspace but I also had a brilliant idea, @Amaliasaurus. I had to decide which one I really wanted to use. At first I used @Amaliasaurus. But it felt weird cause I don't like dinosaurus'. So I changed it into @Amaliaspace and I haven't changed it until now. I had that username since 2009. 

Before I changed my twitter username into @Amaliaspace or @Amaliasaurus, I had @Chipmunks_A29 (something like that), @Amalia_InBlue, @Amaliahahamei, etc. I forgot. I changed it almost every week, no! month. I changed it almost every month. And yeah it's so alay. So I'm never gonna change it again until I found the right username for me. Well I thought about changing it into @Amaliapfera which means Amalia P(radi)fera but I erased the radi so it will be like pfera cause @AmaliaPradifera is too long, yea I've thought about that recently, just haven't found the right time to change it. What do YOU think? 
 

Back to topic, Little Miss Awesome. So yea I didn't used Little Miss Awesome as my twitter username, but I used it as my twitter name. You know, normal people use their name like Amalia Luthfya Pradifera, I don't. For your information, I often write my name as Amalia Pradifera cause I get so mad when people mis-pronounced or mis-spell my middle name which I often do too, so I thought Amalia Pradifera is way cooler and more simple. Bottom line, famous persons or celebrities are often known as their First name/Nickname and Last name. So if I get famous (which I will) people will know me as Amalia Pradifera the person who owned Little Miss Awesome. 

Back to the history of Little miss Awesome, where were I? okay um... At Pare I used "Stay Cool, Be Awesome" as my class' cheer, and the word 'Awesome' was spread. And hahah I often hijack my friend's twitter to tweet "@Amaliaspace AMALIA IS AWESOME!" and people will start wondering about it. Then people start to call me Miss Awesome, Little Miss Awesome or something. And before I knew it, Awesome was like my word. Even though I didn't invent it. So, I used Little Miss Awesome as my blog name so people will start to notice me more as Little Miss Awesome :). I don't give credits to anyone cause I invented the name. Maybe people claim that Little Miss Awesome is their invention, but I didn't copy it from ANYBODY. So from now on, You (who's reading this) may call me Little Miss Awesome. 

Dear, self...

Being awesome means accepting negative comments and people talking bad about you behind your back. But, you have to stand strong because no matter what, you are still awesomer than them.   Don't take negative feedbacks seriously. Don't make negative stories bring you down. If you say you're awesome, believe it. And you have to know that there are people who supports you until the end, those people will always be by your side. Those people will be there no matter what. You need to stop comparing yourself with others otherwise you'll feel your own pain. Changing may be good sometimes, but promise me you will always be yourself. 

-your alter-ego. 

29.