Saturday, September 13, 2014

You? Yes, you.

I'm fed up. I'm a mess. I'm all over the place. I've been over thinking things way too much, and I know I should've been caring about my surroundings but the truth is, the more you care, the more you feel you have to lose. I haven't been sleeping properly recently, unless I'm really really tired from school. There is not a single day where I haven't cried my eyes out. My heart is being really really sensible and I just don't know what to feel. Losing friends is the worst thing that could happen right now.

I failed.

The worst thing in life is feeling that you failed to do something you should've been ass-kicking. A tiniest feeling of failure makes you feel as if you failed at life. At the end of the day, it's just a bad day, not a bad life. I need my life back. Being in high school is a pain in the ass.

When you, you're the only one who has the privilege to change my mood, to make me happy, to make me sad. To make me feel insecure, yet to make me feel on top. To make me jealous, to make me feel like i'm the luckiest girl in the world. To make a sin, to make a vow. To make a courtesy of my attitude, to make me selfish. To let me be me, even at my worst.

You see that little girl over there? She might be happy, she might be sad, she might not give a fuck to the world and there's no in between.
I miss times where look is not a problem, everyone were friends, you wouldn't have to find a topic to talk about cause you can talk about anything that pops in your mind. Feeling disappointed is not in your dictionary and you feel as if everyone loves you.

If the purge anarchy was real and I was in the middle of the annual purge anarchy, I already have a list of people to purge on. The people who killed my happiness. 

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