Friday, June 27, 2014

The Not-So-Good Opportunity Taker

So this is me swallowing my pride and trying as much as I can to not finish the lyric because the purpose of writing that line isn't that, I didn't mean to sing it in any particular way. Sorry Taylor. Carry on. Lately I've been busy as a bee being a dedicated labschool student, following all the programs and stuff and even being one of the candidates for the osis committee, wippieee you never thought a girl like me could be in a well-structured organization cause ... well cause .. i d k. To top it all of I went hiking last week and reach the summit with my Pecinta Alam group, Vabishaka. I would give you any evidence but the video isn't up yet, I'm still in the middle of editing but I can't continue cause I have to study for finals YES I am going through a higher grade which is the year 11. I don't know whether to be happy or sad or anywhere in between I just am.

I can't wait to actually have the time for my own again. But the real question right now is, when, on earth, is that ever gonna happen? I feel like my most days are dedicated to do things for other people and if I do something for my self I'm doing it for other people too. Change subjects. I'm in the training for being the best osis secretary there ever existed and I need to proof to the world that I can change and prove them wrong about what others see in me. I know I currently have a weak image but everything can change. I know in all my blog posts I always tell you how ungrateful I am, and I always talk about my insecurities but that's the thing about blogs, I blog when I'm depressed and now I have a lot of things in my mind that I just gotta let out. I come home everyday, crying, well not really crying but heartbrokenly look my self in the mirror and regret all the stuffs I could've done and should've but didn't. Wow I am the most ego-est person cause there is no sentence in the whole entire blog without the word I. and YES i did say whole entire. Some people know who I really am and I love them for accepting that but the others just look at me an throw me away, things needs to change and I need to change it now. 

But yes the life accomplishment of the month is where I reached the summit even though I had to spent two hours in the hospital cause I was going through some major dehydration and diarrhea, but I am all well now.
Can't wait to see you on my next blog where I cry about my insecurities again while showing you my new video so stay tuned!  

Land of Opportunity - A Great Big World